March 7th, 2006

Ariel Union

Obscure DC Universe Characters: Professor Kitchykoo Caramba and his Vegetable People

I used to spend time on the DC Comics Message Boards, and by far the best thing there was the Obscure DCU Characters thread.  On it, all sorts of people gave biographical information about old forgotten DC Comics characters.  I don't think the thread is still going, but it all has been saved at the Unofficial Obscure DCU Characters Archive.  I even contributed a couple of characters in the waning days of the thread, and here's the first of thise two profiles for your reading pleasure:

Professor Kitchykoo Caramba and his Vegetable People

Professor Caramba is a typical mad scientist, who spends his days developing non-standard scientific inventions that will help him conquer the world! He lives in a large spooky mansion outsides Scooter's city with his wife Elizabeth-Taylor Caramba and his hulking Japanese manservant Ma-Shu-Ga-Na.

One day, teenage British rock star Scooter and his group of friends are picnicking in the woods outside town when a sudden rain forces them to seek shelter in Professor Caramba's mansion. The kids are welcomed by the Professor and his wife, but the weird décor (paintings of nursery rhyme characters being tortured) and strange food (including something called chicken soup-iaki, which has been fermenting "in grotty old pickle jars for months") has the kids on edge. When they try to leave after the meal, they are stopped by Ma-Shu-Ga-Na. and taken to the Professor's lab.

In the lab, Professor Caramba shows Scooter and the gang his greatest invention - the Vegetable People! Seven huge (5-7') vegetables with arms and legs, they are "perfect specimens - lacking only one vital element! [...] Brains! Human brains!" So the professor used a brain-transfer device to put the kid's brains into the Vegetable People!

Transfer List
Scooter --> Son of String Bean
Cynthia --> Carrot Top
Kenny --> Beet Boy
Cookie --> Lima Bean Lady
Sylvester --> Super Squash
Penny --> Lettuce Lass
Malibu --> Mighty Onion Lad

After a few pages of vegetable puns, Ma-Shu-Ga-Na asks Professor Caramba what the Vegetable People are for. "To conquer the world - that's what for, you fool" the Professor replies. But when Ma-Shu-Ga-Na points out that the Professor hasn't created a plan on how to take over the world with Vegetable People, and it's unlikely that such a plan could ever succeed, the Professor cries for a little, undoes the brain transfers, and lets Scooter and the gang leave.